"US Air Force Performs Tik Tok"
Friday, July 23, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Hayden's Lunchtime Story
My two year old is usually on a fairly tight schedule, but since we move back into the apartment life has been a bit "Topsy Turvy". So when lunchtime finally came today at 3:30... needless to say he was thrilled!
When I asked what he wanted he pointed to the freezer my first thought... "gosh not ice-cream kid." But to my surprise when i lifted him up he pulled out two burritos.
I gave him a little bit at a time. He would ask for more and I would cut more up and set it on his tray where I would receive a "tank ooh," "Thank you" in Hayden's lingo. Finally, I set the last few pieces of burrito #2 on his tray refilled his milk and went to switch the laundry.
After a while I realized he hadn't asked to get up yet. So I went to investigate, you see sometimes he helps himself down and THIS is what I stumbled across!
After cleaning him up I set my sleeping baby in his bed where he fell right back to sleep.
And that was not the first time this week. The other day at snack time he did the same thing. And the greatest part is its only WEDNESDAY...lol... Apparently, I strongly need to settle back in to our routine so my poor baby knows the difference between meal time and nap time and a highchair and his bed...lol!
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Pillow Thoughts Are NOT My Friends!
I cant seem to sleep AGAIN... I have so much on my mind I can't even think straight.... top two nerve rackers... My MIL has her biopsy tomorrow morning and I'm worried about the Bestie Manda, nothing seems to be going right in her household right now. And those are just two really big things. There's another HUGE one, but because I have yet to figure out who's going to follow me and read what I'm writing, for my mother's sake I will keep my finger from typing that one. then there are smaller issues adding to the ciaos in my brain. I'm so physically and emotionally spent but when my head hits the pillow, I just start to think and thinking my friends is very very bad in my case!!!
My MIL, mother-in-law, found out a few weeks back that she had eight, yes you heard correctly EIGHT, tumors in her uterus and cyst on her ovaries. They scheduled her biopsy for tomorrow morning at 9:45 and her hysterectomy for Aug.10Th. They said weather or not the tumors are cancerous or not if she doesn't have a full hysterectomy she will still be at risk for not having long in this world. Oh, I should probably mention she was having server bleeding and periods every fourteen days, which is why she went into the Dr.s to begin with. The other night she called me screaming in pain, she at that point had already taken her pain pills, and asked me to take her in to the E.R. Well when we were there they ran another ultrasound and some tests, there are two more tumors in just two and a half weeks... Bringing the total to TEN, yep my MIL has ten small tumors in her uterus. They also said that one of her cyst burst which is why even with pills she was still in excruciating pain. I'm no Dr., but if I'm not mistaken the tumors spreading and multiplying that fast means there cancerous. Tomorrow the biopsy then to wait it out for the results.... NERVES ARE AFFRAY!
My Bestie, Manda, where to begin? 23 living back under mommy's roof again... not any one's dream that i know, especially not hers! She is constantly being threatened that there going to kick her out if she doesn't start helping around there... last I checked shes like the little slave there! Her cat went missing, yea there are tons of cats at her house but hers was HERS and she's had him for like nine years. Snowball, "Balls," was on his last life, if the saying "cats have nine lives" is true, Balls was on his like twelfth. I take her on a road trip and he's gone when she gets home. As much as we want to believe a good home took him in, we all know he went off to the white light alone. AND if that's not bad enough, her pit bull shes had for like six years was murdered yesterday by the tweekers in the neighborhood to help them gain access to the yard undetected. This theory has not been proven but how does a perfectly healthy young dog just drop dead? And while barring her the neighbors came to let them know there dog did the same thing three days ago! I'm here in Vegas, she's in Purumph... just an hour drive away and needing me only thing is... my car is down right now (one of the smaller things bugging the crap out of me). I cant help her from here and as much as she tells me she's fine and changes topic, I know differently! How? I'm her BESTIE... enough said!
I wish I could touch the subject of my mother more then this little bit here, but I promised not to tell anyone for fear it will get back to her parents! But since I'm sure my mom will be reading this, I love you deeply BUT you need help! You need to suck up your pride and put everything out on the table! You wouldn't be feeling so much like you are if you would just tell someone! Shit, Mom, start a freaking blog! SOMETHING! But I will promise you this if you don't start talking to someone soon, and I mean SOON, I am going to take things into my own hands! I LOVE YOU GET SOME FREAKING HELP!!!!!!!!!!
OK, so now I have vented some! feeling a little better. But a little is not even a dent in what stress I have been dealing with!!!!!!
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
To Start With... Hello
I'm a mom of two beautiful boys. I'm married to the U.S. Army. My husband and I are high school sweethearts. I gave up my dreams to stay at home with my kids. I had a very troubled childhood and I'm still recovering from it. I always have some thing new in my life and my mind never stops to breath. I love to write and my bestie suggested a long time ago I should start a blog. I have trouble telling the ones I'm close to whats really going on but I can write anything to a group of complete strangers.
My boys... What can i say about them? Hayden, or as we call him "Mooner,"is going to be two the end of August. He's very quick. He used to talk but when his brother was born he regressed so its back to screaming and here and there baby talk. It drives me NUTS but I get that being a baby himself, he doesn't understand why brother doesn't have to talk and still gets what he wants. He's trying to potty train himself but he is scarred of the toilet... He'll tell me "pee-pee" and I'll take him and stick him up on the seat and I swear he gets so scarred the pee gets afraid to come out or something. He loves to dance, anything with a beat and he's there "poppin his booty" or running around doing "Happy feet." He can climb out of anything which is why he has a "big boy bed" now. Its Toy Story like EVERYTHING else that boy owns... He is seriously OBSESSED! And Daddy and Auntie are to blame for that one... we can walk through a store and see something Toy Story with out a HUGE fit! I know its really bad but 98% of the time he gets whatever it was...lol.
Brett, or as we refer to him "Brother," is a big ol' bundle of toothless smiles and goofy laughs. He is four and a half months. He is very quiet compared to Hayden at this age but even quicker! He is already trying to crawl and is scooting across the floor of the room faster then i can make a bottle. He seems like hes going to be a Mickey Mouse fan, his favorite blanket and stuffed toy he seems to like best are Mickey. My boys get along so well! Hayden kisses Brett and lays on the floor with him showing him how toys work. When Hayden plays cars he always give Brett one in his hand. I don't know what I would do without my sons they are the BEGINNING & END to my world!!!
The husband... Ha what cant I tell you... We've definitely been through ALOT! Tim and I meet when I was thirteen and he was fourteen. One of my best friends is his cousin. We didn't really like each other at first but as everything else when you grow up things are different. We had our first kiss the day before our first date..lol.. I was sixteen and he eighteen it all changed at the Halloween party and a old friend (well get into this I'm sure). She kept shoving candy down my shirt and dared him to get it out... WITH his mouth! That night he walked me to the bus stop because I lived in the town over from his. That night he kissed me I knew then I was going to fall hard and fast! The following day he was at my H.S. when the bell rang he asked if I was hungry and we went on our first date to Chipotle. I wish I could say the rest is history but I cant. We have had plenty of ups and downs before and after the "I Do's." I moved to AZ to go to college for my prerequisites for my RN and he moved out there shortly after. We were perfect everything was in order. But one of Tim's downfalls is he's a mommy's boy... like hardcore style! She asked him to go home and once i finished my semester we moved into her house. Things were OK for a while but with everyone else in our relationship but me... lets just say i had enough! I called off the engagement and move to Yosemite N.P. for a summer job. Met a guy who was no good, he introduced me to crystal.... crystal meth that is. when the summer was over I moved back home. Knowing my best friend was his cousin I gave everyone the heads up to inform him I would be coming back so it would not be weird to run into him. Ya, he was at my door fifteen minutes after me getting there to say hes sorry and he loves me. Two weeks later we were the normal us again. Tim helped me sober up and made sure i was OK through all the with-drawls. While I was gone he had enlisted in the Army. He was to be shipping off to boot camp in a month or two so when he asked me to marry him and try to start a family i obliged. Two weeks before shipping out we found out we were expecting. Three days before departure we said our vowels in the city court house with my sister as our witness. Goodbyes were said and it felt like forever the next three months till graduation... let me tell you I've never been more proud of him my whole life.Everything was perfect... until he finished A.I.T. Our son was born and two weeks later I found out Tim was having an affair. We separated and eventually I decided we could try to fix our marriage. When I moved back in we hadn't talked about where things went wrong just kinda put it aside and moved on... I think that's a lot of our problems I'm one who needs to talk things out hes one who just pushes it aside and pretends it never happened. Brett was a surprise to be honest I was smoking a cigarette drinking a beer and holding the test going "Oh F*CK." we contemplated adoption but in the end decided it was best to keep him. But due to always brushing our problems aside, we fought all the time. Until the day the fighting got physical. I packed my boys up and left. Two months later and a lot of apologies and an enrollment in Anger Management we made a deal. And this brings us to the present conditions... I and our kids live back at the apartment, he lives up the street a ways at his moms. We talk daily and see each other a lot more now. I told him for his kids sake I would agree to this. But until he has completed his class, I won't attend marriage counseling. And until we can work through our problems ALL of them not just current ones, because the old ones still have a lot to do with the new fights, he can't move home.
I think i should also inform you that he is deploying to Afghanistan at the beginning of 2011 for a twelve to fifteen month deployment. So making things work or deciding if they can't is kinda a really big thing! He needs to know what's at home waiting for him or not. And to decide while he's deployed is not very nice thing... can you imagine getting served divorce papers in between getting shot at? I think not... he needs to have everything figured out before he leaves to have his head in the right place. So as of right now we are fighting.... fighting to find the love we once shared. Don't get me wrong I love him with everything in me, and he the same, but the fire that once burned is just a tiny little flicker of a flame the once roared wildly.
My youth could have made me a very dark person. Abuse, neglect, molestation! But with great siblings and friends to help me through it I turned out alright in the end. My sister Shannon, or as I refer to her Sissy, let me move in with her at fifteen. I made it to school everyday even though i had to get up three hours early to catch the bus to school which was now a town over. I got a job as a hostess and would walk the five miles home every night cause the buses didn't run that late. I paid my rent and got decent grades. She was very proud of me and even though she still won't admit to it I think she was surprised at my levels of responsibility. My girls and guys that have been there for me for every thing I owe you more then you would know. So totally cheesy but I'm going to give my thanks on here...
- Amanda Lynn... You have been my rock through everything since tenth grade without you I would just be stuck a hard place..lol
- Joshy, my Buggy.... you will forever be the laces in my shoes... no matter how down i am you can make me bust up in laughter
- Gina, Gigi Butt.... i would be crippled with out you, my back bone standing strong since third grade
- Julia... with out you life would be dull, your the crazy ass always up for trouble.... I love you for that
Amanda, thank you for yelling at me for all those years about not sharing me with others. I hope that blogging will make it easier to sleep at night. And who knows, I might get comfortable enough to share my lyrics on this thing or even better... start writing again.
Well its off to bed my MIL has her biopsy in the morning and i promised to be there to hold her hand. I'll begin to share my head with you all tomorrow. 'Til then....
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